Major Tom! Move to Mars!

I don't often get New Scientist any more, although when I was a student I was pretty fond of it. I don't know exactly what put me off it, I do enjoy hearing about current discoveries and theories and despite the occasional derision of snobby educated friends of mine (it's too "pop" science, as if writing something people can understand is somehow a crime) I find it to be well written and informative.
Yesterday I though I'd forgo the usual depressing paper (does nothing good *ever* happen anymore?) and get a New Scientist instead.

First page editorial was gloomy predictions about social collapse. Next page, first boxout - "Will the Tsunami hit?" with a picture of Hong kong. Across the page, endangered species are all gonna die (picture of colombus monkey looking decidedly edgy) and another box out "Sentence of DEATH" about people who have been in prison dying early (no shit Sherlock). Turn the page again and the next thing is a four page article about noise pollution and how they suspect it makes you ill and is killing people.

I was halfway through the articles section of the damn magazine before I found anything that wasn't a portent of doom. I had to go outside just to check that the sun was still shining and the sky was still blue, and there were no Tsunami or Asteroids or Giant Mutant Beavers (GMBs) poised to destroy life as we know it. I though science periodicals were supposed to show me what hope we have for the future, the exciting and cutting edge of human development, not confirm that I should be looking to move to Mars. It seems to me that everything is doom and gloom. Everywhere you look, turn on a TV, open a paper, search on the Internet, we are alternately being told the world is ending! Evil is near! Followed by Buy! Buy! Buy! Only a limited time!

I think we can take it as read that the world will one day end. I think we can take it as proven that the world is warming and we need to do something, that people are dying of poverty and we need to act. Why can't we be given hope instead of fear? Get those Limey Fruit Market Worshipping Capitalist Pig-Dogs (LFMWCPDs)on the case- instead of selling us Laptops and MP3 players and cruises to Egypt get them to sell us carbon neutral cars and fucking sailing boats and bicycling holidays in Wales. Get the fuckers that made Crazy Frog on the case - if they can make that such a success then making Green and Fair-trade stuff should be falling off a log!

Then afterwards we can set the GMBs on the LFMWCPDs and sell tickets!

Assholes!